i think about it, and i see all the assignments that i still have to do, and i wonder how i can think its manageable.. i can't even celebrate the fact that i'm ALL DONE with two classes. hello! did anyone else read that? I FINISHED TWO CLASSES WORTH OF ASSIGNMENTS. thank you.
i live on breaks. i live on funny faces. i live on random videos of dogs with shoes. i live on knowing that other are praying for me. i live on the prayer that i'm doing myself. i live on the knowledge that did this twice last year. i live on the knowledge that i only need to sit at this kitchen table for just one more week. i live on that vision i have of me walking across a stage with tons of may very favorite people yelling my name.
mostly though, i live on the fact that this is all for some purpose bigger than me. i live on the knowledge that i'm being shaped and molded for something greater. that there are plans for my life that i don't know about yet, but somehow, all of this is preparing me for it.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
you remember how i wasn't going to make my blog all school-ish?
and i totally did?
sorry. my life is consumed with school right now. and, i currently writing about adjustment disorder.
i LOVE to diagnose people with adjustment disorder. and my people, i mean case studies about people who i will never meet.
but, the reason i love adjustment disorder is because it's so random. not only that, but EVERYONE has it at least 15 times in life. for real. okay, well maybe not for real, but still. it's only diagnosable if it lasts between 3 to 6 months. and, is brought up by a major life stressor. granted, to be diagnosed your response to said stressor needs to greatly impair your life...
but uh, who has never had a major life stressor where your life suddenly feels like you just can't go on because of one thing that happened? umm, i have!
i feel like i'm living in a perpetual state of adjustment disorder.
chris and i were just talking about how i only have one semester and 2 weeks left of grad school. *yay* but, i thought about it... in the last three years i have gotten engaged, deferred grad school a year, gotten married, quite a job, started grad school, interned with attorneys for a year, spent a fund a wild summer all over the place, started interning with an administrative regional director of a state wide agency, been given more responsibility than i think i can handle, both in school and out of school.
my role has changed so much in the last three years. i mean, somewhere along the line i became a leader, a student, a professional, a confidant, a best friend, an expert... it's constant adjustment. and, i know i don't really meet all the criteria for adjustment disorder, but still, it sometimes feels like i do.
so, school will be done in two weeks. then it'll be back to bigger and more crazy things at my internship. then in may i'll be able to say that i completed grad school. job? parenthood? who knows!
but, i do know that there will be more adjusting to be had.
sorry. my life is consumed with school right now. and, i currently writing about adjustment disorder.
i LOVE to diagnose people with adjustment disorder. and my people, i mean case studies about people who i will never meet.
but, the reason i love adjustment disorder is because it's so random. not only that, but EVERYONE has it at least 15 times in life. for real. okay, well maybe not for real, but still. it's only diagnosable if it lasts between 3 to 6 months. and, is brought up by a major life stressor. granted, to be diagnosed your response to said stressor needs to greatly impair your life...
but uh, who has never had a major life stressor where your life suddenly feels like you just can't go on because of one thing that happened? umm, i have!
i feel like i'm living in a perpetual state of adjustment disorder.
chris and i were just talking about how i only have one semester and 2 weeks left of grad school. *yay* but, i thought about it... in the last three years i have gotten engaged, deferred grad school a year, gotten married, quite a job, started grad school, interned with attorneys for a year, spent a fund a wild summer all over the place, started interning with an administrative regional director of a state wide agency, been given more responsibility than i think i can handle, both in school and out of school.
my role has changed so much in the last three years. i mean, somewhere along the line i became a leader, a student, a professional, a confidant, a best friend, an expert... it's constant adjustment. and, i know i don't really meet all the criteria for adjustment disorder, but still, it sometimes feels like i do.
so, school will be done in two weeks. then it'll be back to bigger and more crazy things at my internship. then in may i'll be able to say that i completed grad school. job? parenthood? who knows!
but, i do know that there will be more adjusting to be had.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
tonight was amazing!
not only did the symposium run smoothly, but i'm one assignment closer to the end.
our advanced community practice class was given a Community Change Assignment on the first day of class. so, we decided to have a symposium. a symposium on poverty. to educate people about what poverty looks like, and why it matters to everyone.
went we came up with the idea, i don't think anyone though about all the work we needed to put into it, or what the final product would be. we wanted a panel of speakers, plus some sort of survey, plus something else...
flash forward to tonight.
after all those weeks of preparation, we actually pulled it off. not only did we get an AMAZING panel *who, by the way gave excellent presentations, and are totally experts in their field*, but we had ALMOST 80 people there. yeah. 80!
our professor was in awe about the fact that we pulled it off. dude, i think we were all in awe!
it was fabulous. really. all the hard work. all the last minute stress. and people came, enjoyed it, and left educated.
yeah, grad school rocks.
oh, and... i met with one of my professors about that 20 page management paper. she basically thinks that i have great writing skills, and that my paper was a "pleasure to read." that's great, since my internship expects on me to write grants!
our advanced community practice class was given a Community Change Assignment on the first day of class. so, we decided to have a symposium. a symposium on poverty. to educate people about what poverty looks like, and why it matters to everyone.
went we came up with the idea, i don't think anyone though about all the work we needed to put into it, or what the final product would be. we wanted a panel of speakers, plus some sort of survey, plus something else...
flash forward to tonight.
after all those weeks of preparation, we actually pulled it off. not only did we get an AMAZING panel *who, by the way gave excellent presentations, and are totally experts in their field*, but we had ALMOST 80 people there. yeah. 80!
our professor was in awe about the fact that we pulled it off. dude, i think we were all in awe!
it was fabulous. really. all the hard work. all the last minute stress. and people came, enjoyed it, and left educated.
yeah, grad school rocks.
oh, and... i met with one of my professors about that 20 page management paper. she basically thinks that i have great writing skills, and that my paper was a "pleasure to read." that's great, since my internship expects on me to write grants!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
my brain won't funtion...
really... i don't know what it is. i'm tired of typing. i'm tired of thinking about management theories. did i mention that since tuesday, 11/23, i have been working on only one paper. okay. so every now and then work on a grant, chat on facebook *which i need to stop doing*, and im a bit *also something i need to stop doing*... but it's like, i don't know, i can't type anymore... at least nothing meaningful.
the wost part is that i have A TON of knowledge about what i need to write about. but for some reason, i just can't do it. although, i have managed to get through more of my paper than i thought i would over thanksgiving.
but still. according to my planner i'm supposed to be practically finished with this paper. hey, i'm more than half way there, so i guess that's okay...
oi, i really need to get back to writing..
diligence, leilani! diligence!!
the wost part is that i have A TON of knowledge about what i need to write about. but for some reason, i just can't do it. although, i have managed to get through more of my paper than i thought i would over thanksgiving.
but still. according to my planner i'm supposed to be practically finished with this paper. hey, i'm more than half way there, so i guess that's okay...
oi, i really need to get back to writing..
diligence, leilani! diligence!!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
i'm blogging as i should be doing this...
my homework...
just so you can get an appreciation of what my life will look like for the next couple of weeks....
Organizational & Behavioral Management
*Case Analysis, 15-20 pages
Due 11/30
*Case Analysis Presentation
Due 12/7
Human Rights and Sustainable Development
*Integrative Case Analysis, 12-15 pages
Due 12/14
Advanced Clinical Practice
*Integrative Case Analysis, 10-15 pages
Due 12/7
*Final
Due12/4
Advances Community Practice
*Community Change Project
Event on 11/30: Symposium on the Changing Faces of Poverty
*Needs Assessment: City of Santa Ana
-city official interview (due 12/7)
-agency visit (due 12/7)
-church interview (due 12/7)
-summary analysis of aged community
-self evaluation
-10 page paper
Due 12/16
Field Seminar
*Case Presentation
Due 12/2
*Final Reflection Summary
Due 12/16
*Macro Project Proposal, 10 pages
Due 12/16
not to mention the 20K grant proposal that i needs to finish writing for my internship. really?? yeah, really. this is why people with MSWs get paid the big bucks. actually, this is WHY people with MSWs should get paid the big bucks.
but you know, one day soon it will be May 7th, and i will cross that stage with my cap and gown, and super cool hood, with my "diploma" in hand. and i'll be Leilani O'Roark, MSW. and all of this will have been worth it. mark my words, all of this will have been worth it.
just so you can get an appreciation of what my life will look like for the next couple of weeks....
Organizational & Behavioral Management
*Case Analysis, 15-20 pages
Due 11/30
*Case Analysis Presentation
Due 12/7
Human Rights and Sustainable Development
*Integrative Case Analysis, 12-15 pages
Due 12/14
Advanced Clinical Practice
*Integrative Case Analysis, 10-15 pages
Due 12/7
*Final
Due12/4
Advances Community Practice
*Community Change Project
Event on 11/30: Symposium on the Changing Faces of Poverty
*Needs Assessment: City of Santa Ana
-city official interview (due 12/7)
-agency visit (due 12/7)
-church interview (due 12/7)
-summary analysis of aged community
-self evaluation
-10 page paper
Due 12/16
Field Seminar
*Case Presentation
Due 12/2
*Final Reflection Summary
Due 12/16
*Macro Project Proposal, 10 pages
Due 12/16
not to mention the 20K grant proposal that i needs to finish writing for my internship. really?? yeah, really. this is why people with MSWs get paid the big bucks. actually, this is WHY people with MSWs should get paid the big bucks.
but you know, one day soon it will be May 7th, and i will cross that stage with my cap and gown, and super cool hood, with my "diploma" in hand. and i'll be Leilani O'Roark, MSW. and all of this will have been worth it. mark my words, all of this will have been worth it.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
i have waaaaaay too much going on in my life
really. i have a whole load of assignments to do in the next 4 weeks. some which include interviews of official people who don't care to speak to a sad little MSW student. not that i'm sad, but still.
aside from the papers, presentation, and the symposium, i have A LOT on my plate.
i'm not complaining, though. mostly because of my wedding rings. because i'm happy and married? no. well, i am. but it's more than that.
chris had both my engagement ring and my wedding band engraved. on my engagement ring is, what i think is the most unwedding-y, unromantic verse... 2 Timothy 3:12, "Indeed, all you desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." see? totally unromantic. on our wedding bands is Matthew 24:13, "But the one who endures to the end will be saved."
those are verses that have a major significance in my life these days. not only am i reminded of how my marriage is for God's glory, but i'm reminded of what Jesus did on the cross for me, and how i must be willing to give my life for Him. how being a Christian isn't all "you will have it all! just name it and claim it!" it's hard. people will be mean. they will hurt. but, God is sovereign over all things, and all work to His glory for those who love Him.
"But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in its wings. You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall. And you shall tread down the wicked, for they will be ashes under the soles of your feet, on the day when I act, says the LORD of hosts." Malachi 4:2&3
aside from the papers, presentation, and the symposium, i have A LOT on my plate.
i'm not complaining, though. mostly because of my wedding rings. because i'm happy and married? no. well, i am. but it's more than that.
chris had both my engagement ring and my wedding band engraved. on my engagement ring is, what i think is the most unwedding-y, unromantic verse... 2 Timothy 3:12, "Indeed, all you desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." see? totally unromantic. on our wedding bands is Matthew 24:13, "But the one who endures to the end will be saved."
those are verses that have a major significance in my life these days. not only am i reminded of how my marriage is for God's glory, but i'm reminded of what Jesus did on the cross for me, and how i must be willing to give my life for Him. how being a Christian isn't all "you will have it all! just name it and claim it!" it's hard. people will be mean. they will hurt. but, God is sovereign over all things, and all work to His glory for those who love Him.
"But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in its wings. You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall. And you shall tread down the wicked, for they will be ashes under the soles of your feet, on the day when I act, says the LORD of hosts." Malachi 4:2&3
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
i didn't vote today.
on a happier note... i've been told i'm looking slimmer!
but really. yeah, i totally didn't vote today. yet another place where you need to change your name after getting married. i could have sworn that this was done when i got the new driver's license. but i guess not. and, i totally didn't mail the registration form in time. i know, i know, totally my fault.
but you know, i'm not really that upset with myself. mostly because there was no candidate for me to believe in.
i could go on and on about how i don't trust republicans or democrats, or politicians in general. yes, i have a BA in Political Science. but politics, the mud slinging kind just irks me. i love watching it work, and i love understanding the process, but campaigning drives me nuts. which is why i almost didn't want to vote.
mostly, though, i know God is in control of all things. so, whatever happens, He will work to his glory and for the good of those who love him.
*besos*
but really. yeah, i totally didn't vote today. yet another place where you need to change your name after getting married. i could have sworn that this was done when i got the new driver's license. but i guess not. and, i totally didn't mail the registration form in time. i know, i know, totally my fault.
but you know, i'm not really that upset with myself. mostly because there was no candidate for me to believe in.
i could go on and on about how i don't trust republicans or democrats, or politicians in general. yes, i have a BA in Political Science. but politics, the mud slinging kind just irks me. i love watching it work, and i love understanding the process, but campaigning drives me nuts. which is why i almost didn't want to vote.
mostly, though, i know God is in control of all things. so, whatever happens, He will work to his glory and for the good of those who love him.
*besos*
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