readers, i have entered the 3rd trimester.

rather insane if you ask me. and looking to POSSIBLY become complicated. but hopefully not.

for starters, my glucose screening test did not go so well. in fact, it was very not well. the cutoff for high blood sugar is140. me? i was 171. yuck. so now, i have to do the three hour test. which, were it not for the FOUR BLOOD DRAWS required, wouldn't be too bad. not to mention the fact that my veins are crap when i'm not hydrated, and i have to take this test on an 8-12 hour fast. water included. but, i mean, if i'm willing to even consider a natural birth, i guess i can handle all the poking. the thing is, i'm worried about finding out i have gestational diabetes. i guess it couldn't happen to a *slightly* more prepared person, considering chris is type 1 and i worked in an endocrinology clinic for about 3 years, but still. however, it i do have it, i'd rather know and work with it to make sure DSO and i are as safe as possible.

now for the second... before being pregnant, i had blood pressure issues. like, for years. i was on meds for a while and everything. since becoming pregnant, my numbers have been BEAUTIFUL. like enough to make me want to call my doctor and tell her to get a new machine or something. but, because of that, i'm at risk of preeclapsia/hypertension/toxemia, whatever you want to call it. if this does become a problem, it can be pretty bad. so, i had a *lovely* blood draw to get a toxemia baseline. because, you know, it's always nice to know what things look like when you don't have any issues! for now, my blood pressure is still good, i haven't been swelling strangely, but there are some things here and there that keep me kinda worried.

part three: allergies. i'm pretty sure that's what i'm suffering from. except, aside from the congestion and what have you, my ear hurts too. its rather annoying and kinda becoming more painful. this makes my head hurt which makes me freak out about the aforementioned issue...

but then, DSO kicks all crazy, and i think to myself, i'm having a baby. as scared as i am to have any complications, i know i will be monitored and the most important thing on everyone's mind will be to keep both me and DSO safe.

besides, God's already got this one in the bag.

25 weeks down, 15 to go....

i can't believe it. 25 weeks. that's 5 and a half months. and let me tell you, i'm CLEARLY pregnant. we went to my in-law's house this weekend, and my *fabulous* father-in-law had the audacity to look at my belly and say "WHOA!" too funny! although, i'm kinda wondering what will happen when i hit week 35..... eeek!

things have been going fairly well. that whole tooth extraction turned out to be a non-issue. in fact, it went so wonderfully that my dentist decided that he couldn't wait for DSO to get here so he could get the other 3 out. what a nice guy....

DSO seems to be growing well too. i mean, i'm growing, and she's kicking up a storm. she has her sleepy days, but even then, she likes to let me know that she's still a strong kid. i'm slightly worried about what her energy level is gonna be like when she's here. although, she'll be a kid, so i'm sure it'll be through the roof. plus, she's a blend of both chris and i, so i'm pretty sure she's be crazy. but, with fabulous black hair and a great ability to tan. not to mention her bilingual skills. yeah, she's gonna be pretty awesome.

aside from that, i've been doing A TON of labor and delivery thinking these days. it's a pretty daunting thing when you have nothing to compare it to. i mean, i can listen to my friends and family who have been there, but i have NO CLUE what i'm in for. thus, i've made a decision. some might find it crazy, but i've made up my mind.

i'm gonna go natural. well, not home birth, natural. believe me, i don't have that kind of determination! but, i wanna do this without drugs. prayerfully. just chris and i, and my mom in the room reading scripture or something of that nature.

i really have nothing against drugs, or people who use them. really. i just really want to go without. i wanna feel it. i know that sounds BEYOND CRAZY. but, if God created me for any one thing *outside of giving Him glory* it was to birth children. that's literally what my body was created for. and, i know i can do it. will i refuse medical intervention when needed? no. i'm not THAT crazy. i mean, will be birthing at a fabulous hospital for that very reason. but, i really want to do this.

thus said... start praying now!

i've made it thus far...

so no one told me that pain after actual extraction was worse the procedure itself.

i was FREAKING OUT like you wouldn't believe the whole way to the dentist, sitting in the waiting room, taking that last minute trip to the potty, and sitting in the chair waiting for it all to begin. really. i was shaking. i could hear my heart pounding in my head.

so i began to pray.

i prayed for it to be fast. i prayed to not feel anything. but mostly i prayed for DSO to be safe. for her not be hurt in any way by my stupid decision to never get this tooth pulled out before now.

and you know what? she was kicking me most of the time. i think she could pick up on those moments when i started to freak out, because that's when she started to kick. it was pretty cool.

so now, i'm praying more that the tylenol 3 and amoxicilin that they gave me really won't hurt her *like my ob and dentist said they wouldn't*, and that this soreness will be the worst pain that i feel.

on a happier note, i only have 2 cavities to worry about. however, he wants to take my other 3 wisdom teeth out. lame....

this just gets stranger and stranger.....

so the baby moves all the time. well, maybe not all the time, but enough for me to look down and say to it, "what are you doing in there?!?!?"

but, you know, the movement makes me feel better about the growing, so it's not too bad. speaking of growing, i totally am! as soon as i get a good picture at 20 weeks *also known as this coming saturday* i'll post it up. it's like in the last 5 days its starting to look like there's a baby in there. although, my mom was only really convinced after hearing the baby's heartbeat at the dr this week.

about the doctor, everything is growing fine. good strong heartbeat of 160, and growing totally normally at 19 weeks, also known as month 5. we totally know the gender, but i'm not gonna tell you until we've as least told every grandparent.

but, knowing all of this makes it really real. having seen a fully functioning heart, kidneys, brain, watching all the moving on that screen.... i mean, this is really happening!

the times, they are a-change-in....

there really is no other way to start this.

readers. we're having a baby. it's true.

and, i'm pretty sure we have no idea what we're doing. i'm looking at all these reviews for baby stuff, and i'm totally lost. like, just because this person like this crib but this person doesn't, should i like it? or be unsure about it? and you need a bassinet too? but only for a little while, right? then there are all these requirement other people have about what you should and shouldn't do. oi vey....

this is all too much to think about.

plus, i'm getting fatter. it's the good kind of fat. you know the kind that means your doing something good. at the same time, i've spent my whole like trying not to gain any weight. which, for an over weight mexican girl is pretty freakin hard. although, i like to think that for the last few years, i've been pretty good at it. but since i started out, you know, not skinny, i keep wondering if i look pregnant. chris tells me i do. my family tells me i do. and i KNOW my pants no longer fit. but, i mean, all those skinny girls actually LOOK PREGNANT. i think i just look a bit fatter. but not in my face. oh, please let me gain weight everywhere else, but not in my face!

the other thing, which is even greater than the weight part is this constant worry about whether or not the baby is okay. i haven't really felt the baby yet, i don't think. or maybe i have and i just don't know it! so i worry. although, i'm probably the biggest worrier you'll ever meet anyway. but, then the hunger hits me. it's like a hunger that i have never known. and it happens every day. this hunger reminds me that the baby is probably okay. that and the random crying.

mostly though, i sit and look at chris, then at my belly, smile, and say, "what in the world are we doing???"

so graduation is two weeks and one day away...

and my eyes are tired of looking at the computer. i'm tired of thinking about the same three therapy models. and i'm tired of looking at the rubric for this HORRID paper. i promise i'm not exaggerating. i'm really glad that they saved this paper for the last, or i might have dropped out a few semesters ago. the good thing is that after this paper, i only really have one. sure, i need to type like a maniac to get them both done when i want, but i'm pretty sure i'll be okay.

besides, UPS delivered something magical today. MY CAP, GOWN, AND HOOD. yeah, i'm pretty much official. only these two papers in my way. and my thesis project poster. but, i got some fabulous help from my pretty friend, miss baldwin. i heart kindergarten teachers. so, besides all that, and the two weeks and one day...

i'm almost there!!! thank the LORD!!!!

ish!

i really should be better at this thing!

it isn't that there hasn't been anything to blog about, but there have been waaaay too many things to blog about!

i'm in week three of school, and just waiting for it to be done. my house is a mess because i feel like i haven't been in it for weeks due to all sort of drama. chris and i celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary, and my dear friend amy is getting married this weekend. oh, and i have an assignment that is due on thursday. for some reason i thought it would be smart to sign up for it this week. at least it'll be done with that assignment.

on the school front: i can't do it any more. okay, i can, but, it's like, stop already!! i have my Capstone/Thesis project due in less than 4 months, and it's slightly more dramatic than i thought it would be. and, all i can think about is the first saturday in may.

chris and i: are super happy. year two was definitely more difficult than year one, but i wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. we spent this past weekend in Monterey Bay, Ca and it was wonderful. aside from the bed with the funny sheets, the hotel was fine, and close to Cannary Row. we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and got to see Super Cute Otters! plus, we ate the yummiest food. did i mention that i LOVE clam chowder? i do.

everything else: there are about 50 Billion weddings this year. this weekend is my super bestie amy, then my dear friend nancy in march, two more weddings in june, and another in july. i'm in the first two, and helping plan the one in july. that one is my friend grace. she my other super bestie, elisabeth's sister. and, if two of my other friends *who shall remain nameless* get their acts together, i'll have 2 more weddings to go to this year. oy!

also: i swear babies are being born left and right. i just found out that i'm gonna have a little nephew. no, not my sister. my best friend jennifer. i heart her and can't wait to meet her baby! not just her, but my friends *yes, plural* at church have had babies, a friend at school is, like, ready to pop, and a few other friends have just told me that they are preggers. jealous? hmmm, i don't want to call it that. but, if i have to go to babies 'r us one more time... did i mention i'm helping throw a shower in the next week or so?

anywho, nutshell: life has been insane. and right now it doesn't look like it's going to change anytime soon. but, you know, i'm happy. i'm healthy, i have a fabulous husband, my family is somewhat normal now, i'm ultra blessed because i have people who consider me close enough to take part in their special life changes, and i'm super close to finishing school.

complain? never.

i would like to share with you my homework list...

Organizational & Behavioral Managment
*no assignments due

Human Rights & Sustainable Development
*no assignments due

Advanced Clinical Practice
*no assignments due

Advance Community Practice
-Needs Assessment
-portfolio and presentation: DUE 12/16

Field Seminar
-Capstone Proposal: DUE 12/16

i have written over 87 pages of information in the last two and a half weeks. and i still have about 20 to go.

but then i'll be 3/4 of the way to the MSW...

two classes down... 3 to go

i think about it, and i see all the assignments that i still have to do, and i wonder how i can think its manageable.. i can't even celebrate the fact that i'm ALL DONE with two classes. hello! did anyone else read that? I FINISHED TWO CLASSES WORTH OF ASSIGNMENTS. thank you.

i live on breaks. i live on funny faces. i live on random videos of dogs with shoes. i live on knowing that other are praying for me. i live on the prayer that i'm doing myself. i live on the knowledge that did this twice last year. i live on the knowledge that i only need to sit at this kitchen table for just one more week. i live on that vision i have of me walking across a stage with tons of may very favorite people yelling my name.

mostly though, i live on the fact that this is all for some purpose bigger than me. i live on the knowledge that i'm being shaped and molded for something greater. that there are plans for my life that i don't know about yet, but somehow, all of this is preparing me for it.

you remember how i wasn't going to make my blog all school-ish?

and i totally did?

sorry. my life is consumed with school right now. and, i currently writing about adjustment disorder.

i LOVE to diagnose people with adjustment disorder. and my people, i mean case studies about people who i will never meet.

but, the reason i love adjustment disorder is because it's so random. not only that, but EVERYONE has it at least 15 times in life. for real. okay, well maybe not for real, but still. it's only diagnosable if it lasts between 3 to 6 months. and, is brought up by a major life stressor. granted, to be diagnosed your response to said stressor needs to greatly impair your life...

but uh, who has never had a major life stressor where your life suddenly feels like you just can't go on because of one thing that happened? umm, i have!

i feel like i'm living in a perpetual state of adjustment disorder.

chris and i were just talking about how i only have one semester and 2 weeks left of grad school. *yay* but, i thought about it... in the last three years i have gotten engaged, deferred grad school a year, gotten married, quite a job, started grad school, interned with attorneys for a year, spent a fund a wild summer all over the place, started interning with an administrative regional director of a state wide agency, been given more responsibility than i think i can handle, both in school and out of school.

my role has changed so much in the last three years. i mean, somewhere along the line i became a leader, a student, a professional, a confidant, a best friend, an expert... it's constant adjustment. and, i know i don't really meet all the criteria for adjustment disorder, but still, it sometimes feels like i do.

so, school will be done in two weeks. then it'll be back to bigger and more crazy things at my internship. then in may i'll be able to say that i completed grad school. job? parenthood? who knows!

but, i do know that there will be more adjusting to be had.

i have waaaaaay too much going on in my life

really. i have a whole load of assignments to do in the next 4 weeks. some which include interviews of official people who don't care to speak to a sad little MSW student. not that i'm sad, but still.

aside from the papers, presentation, and the symposium, i have A LOT on my plate.

i'm not complaining, though. mostly because of my wedding rings. because i'm happy and married? no. well, i am. but it's more than that.

chris had both my engagement ring and my wedding band engraved. on my engagement ring is, what i think is the most unwedding-y, unromantic verse... 2 Timothy 3:12, "Indeed, all you desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." see? totally unromantic. on our wedding bands is Matthew 24:13, "But the one who endures to the end will be saved."

those are verses that have a major significance in my life these days. not only am i reminded of how my marriage is for God's glory, but i'm reminded of what Jesus did on the cross for me, and how i must be willing to give my life for Him. how being a Christian isn't all "you will have it all! just name it and claim it!" it's hard. people will be mean. they will hurt. but, God is sovereign over all things, and all work to His glory for those who love Him.

"But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in its wings. You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall. And you shall tread down the wicked, for they will be ashes under the soles of your feet, on the day when I act, says the LORD of hosts." Malachi 4:2&3

drink enough???

did you know that you're supposed to drink half of your body weight in ounces everyday?? seriously. that's a ton of water.

today at school we had a meeting with an accreditor for the MSW program. during this meeting i was sitting next to my super cool friend marisa, when we looked up to see sheryl *another super cool friend* and her eternal supply of water bottles. okay, so maybe it was only 1 big one and 3 little ones. but she was on her way to get another water bottle! and, i swear she only had like 2 bottle when we got there.

either way, i realized that i need to add another thing to my list of what i need to do. DRINK MORE WATER!

well, i did. i had 4 bottles today. and i don't know that i can handle it. i mean, really. during field seminar *which is pretty sucky, by the way* i had to get up like 5 times to go pee. okay, maybe i just went twice during class and once after class. but, i was pretty much dying to get into the house after my 1 hour drive home.

however, in my cardio class tonite *which kicked my butt, by the way* i felt really good. and now, my head doesn't hurt. and actually still feel pretty fantastic.

but that leads me to think about the Living Water, and how that satiates more than my body. it satiates my soul.

Jesus said to her, "Everyone who drinks the of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up eternal life."
John 4:13 & 14

so you see Jesus is, like, the perfect water. because, as i totally proved today, the water i drink makes me have to pee. then i get thirsty and drink more. and the cycle perpetuates itself. but with Christ, the filled doesn't go away. and that, my friends, is Awesome!

i kinda like this. oh, i'm going on a tangent now. if my needing to lose weight gets me to read my Bible more and seek Christ's word more.. then hey! bring on the muscle pain and salads!

*besos*

squeeeeee!!!

*besos*

oh how life gets in the way

since my last blog post i have...

1) done 13 school assignments *papers, group presentations, other lame stuff*
2) taken the train to my internship downtown about 15 times *spending about 5 bucks each time*
3) lost a snail *miss you charlamayne!*
4) got a new snail *welcome to the family gilberto!*
5) seen rubi way too few times *sad*
6) slept not enough
7) gotten over EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS in grant money for clients
8) done far more research on any subject than i thought was humanly possible
9) resolved 15 cases
10) gone to my cousin's high school baseball game *along with dinner and fun kids doing strange things*
11) gone to an Easter sunrise service
12) watched countless strange movies with chris during dinner
13) been there for my dear friend during a scary health situation
14) bought *too many* new nail polishes
15) done my nails a ga-zillion times
16) done my friends' nails a ga-zillion times
17) not gone running as much as i should
18) gone to the hospital because chris had a strange migraine episode
19) been attacked by my nephews, sam, max, and aussie
20) bought new running shoes *that i still haven't used*
21) made really good friends in grad school
22) sang new songs in church on sunday
23) made plans to spend a week in arizona with chris' great aunt, nina *pray for her, please*
24) emailed lots of places to volunteer over the summer
25) thanked God everyday

life is constantly going. i wake up each morning and wonder when i'll be able to sleep in again. but then i think, i'm breathing, and that's awesome. i pray that in that *small* list of things i've done in the last 2 and a half months, i have been pleasing to God, and glorifying Him at all times.

*besos*

as 2009 ends....

i wanted to make a list of my top 10...

10. i made new friends
9. i conquered my fear of sleeping alone in a house (thank you graveyard shift...)
8. i got a kitchen full of awesome stuff
7. i learned how to knit
6. i spend a fun week in san diego with my husband. i got way burned, but it was soooo worth it!
5. i got to see a ton of family and friends all together in one place
4. i got to go to cozumel
3. i finally started grad school
2. i got my very own little home to share with my favorite person ever
1. i got MARRIED!!!!!

most of my top 10 relate to my number 1. that really is the best thing that happened this year. i'm so happpy. we get to celebrate our anniversary next month, and i think chris has something planned.

but, i think i could come up with a list of top 101, and it still wouldn't be enough. i just think about all that God has given me, and i get chills. i just pray that i am pleasing him through my marriage, my school, my whole life.

and with that i say, thank you 2009... bring on 2010!!!

*besos*

almost here!

i'm sitting at the kitchen table waiting for amy to get to my casa. we're going to bake tonight... apple pie and pound cake. yummy!!!!!

chris just walked into the kitchen... and he's so odd sometimes.

but, it's almost my first christmas as a married lady. how cool, yet bizzare is that?!?

there are about a million gifts under our cute little christmas tree. i swear a third of them are for amy (from my in-laws... she's their fave.) *cs is convinced everything under the tree is for me from his parents... okay, maybe i'm the fave*... but, it's so odd. i wrappped a gift today and wrote "to my beloved husband" on it. tee-hee. he's so cute. he's peeking at the gifts to see what i got him...

i love being his wife.

*besos*

the goings on since the begining of limbo

i'm starting week two of limbo.... and i'm currently blogging while trying to figure out what to watch on tv. darn you daytime talk shows!

anywho, i've had an amazing time since quiting my job.... i won't go day by day, but i will talk up the highlights!

my first week of limbo was kinda dramatic. my dad went to the hospital because of his nosebleeds. he's okay now, but i took him to the dr on monday. he ended up having to get s small tear deep inside his nose cauterized. his ENT said that he has a tear left over from a break he made, like, 45 years ago. hopefully this will work, but for now, it seems like a tentative fix-it.

anywho, in all of that worry, i 1) took my little "sister", cassy, to plazita olvera and chinatown, 2) got blood drawn, 3) took learsi with me to APU to go get a ton of stuff done *ID card, parking permit, books*, 4) oh, learsi came home!, 4) did laundry and made yummy dinners, 5) had fun family time, and 6) packed for an O'Roark Family Trip to...... Las Vegas!

*the trip requires it's own post*

now i'm back home, starting week 2. chris is sleeping right now. today is our 7 month anniversary!! we're going to Target at some point today. then, it's off to lounge in the pool (just for you, kevin). theeeeeeen, we order pizza. remember?? our anniversary tradition???

limbo has been great so far.... oh, and we're going to san diego on wednesday for a few days. i could totally do this vacation thing for a while!

*besos*

it's friday!!!!

it's wednesday

and friday is my last day..... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*besos*

again!!!!!