Friday, February 3, 2012

tomorrow is DSO's due date...

and i'm pretty sure she doesn't know about it. me? oh i know. and i'm pretty much done with being pregnant. we had dinner with my parents and sister this last week, and my sister asked how i was feeling. i looked at her and said, "do you really want to know?" her response, "yes. everything." so i answered, like crap. and my mom said, "oh leilani. you don't feel like that. you just feel kind of heavy!" i looked at them and was like, "okay. i just feel kinda heavy. except the skin on my stomach feels like it's about to rip open. i can't sleep ever. i'm ALWAYS tired. my belly ALWAYS feels like it's about to fall off. i'm tired of being hungry ALL THE TIME. and don't get me started on my special lady parts."

i'm convinced that NO ONE really tells you what being pregnant is really like until you actually are. lame. i'm also convinced that EVERYONE needs to be pregnant at some point just so they can understand what it's like. then again, maybe being 4'10 and pregnant is harder than being, you know, average height and pregnant. darn my lack of height!!!!

one of the biggest thing i've learned about being with child is how to NOT treat pregnant women. you'd think personal space and general common decency wouldn't just disappear when a pregnant woman walks into the room. so, for those of you who don't know, here is a list of things you are never to ask or say to a pregnant woman. sadly, i have said some in the past....

1) wow! you're really getting big!
2) you'll NEVER make it to you're due date?
3) it's just one?
4) you're sure it isn't twins?
5) well, they said it's a boy/girl, but let me tell you about my friend/neighbor/daughter who ended up having the other gender...
6) that is going to be a BIG baby.
7) how are you feeling?
8) are you excited?
9) is dad excited?
10) you look REALLY tired.
11) you know what you should do?
12) well, when i was pregnant....
13) is the baby here yet?
14) is they baby here yet?
15) is the baby here yet?
oh, and my personal favorite, from a random stranger on tuesday night.... do you have any stretchmarks??

and most of these come from friends and family!!! well, except for the ones that come from lame strangers at the AAA office. like that lady who just HAD to tell us about how horrible her period was and how her cramps make her face swell, so she was scared to have babies. yeah. i don't know what happens to people when they see a pregnant lady.... and the belly touching!!! if you're family or friend, or even just ask first, it isn't too bad. but really server from CPK? really???

and all of the twin questions. you think i don't already feel like a huge balloon? now you're telling me that i look so *expletive* huge that there must be twins inside?? oi! or the people that say, that she's gonna be huge. hey, my torso is the size of your eyelash. leave me alone! a lovely old man at church referred to me as "fatso" for a while. this was until i looked at him and said, "well, i am pregnant. what's your excuse?" a bit mean, maybe? but really. come on!

all venting aside, who knew that being pregnant would teach you such patience with people and they're lameness? i think it must be part of the design. i'm gonna have to have A TON of patience once she gets here. believe me. any offspring of mine and chris will probably need lots and lots of patience!

other than that *which really only drive me crazy the closer i get to the end* it's been pretty amazing. when she's dancing around inside, chris and i can't help but marvel at the fact that there is an ACTUAL human inside. God already has this amazing plan for her. she has a personality, a smile, an attitude that will likely get her in trouble one day, and a future that i can't even imagine. i hate to think about how fast she'll grow up. how in the grand scheme of life, we have such a small amount of time with her.

i can't wait to have her here. i want to see what she looks like. who she she looks like. who's features i'm upset about her getting. if she'll have my AMAZING hair. if she'll have one eyebrow.... but mostly because i know that this has been the easy part. and i can't wait to see what happens next.

now, if i could only get her on board with coming soon....